Surprisingly, Great Grandma's house has wireless access, courtesy of the new next-door neighbors. Great Grandma is 90 and thus something of a Luddite; most of her belongings predate Roosevelt. [Teddy Roosevelt. Senior.]
Surprisingly, the temperature has been in the triple-digits for three days straight, the most intense heat wave to hit the area in 11 years. I get uneasy when it's hotter outside my body than inside. The horseflies might want to fly in my mouth just to cool off.
Surprisingly, the excessive heat found me on the end of a rope swing, flinging my creaky bones into the Mississippi River.
Not surprisingly, this is one of those instances when a man suddenly feels half his age and is destined to feel twice his age in the morning. Ever since that rope swing I've been mainlining ibuprofen, and the only way I can type is to fling my forearms onto the keyboard.